Ahuva Good Shepherd: Pilot Small Group Care, Marymount Centre 

celebrates 

International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

On the 28th of November 2021, Ms Nora conducted a workshop for the residents at Pilot Small Group Care (PSGC) to bring awareness to the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women that occurs on every 25th of November. We took this opportunity to highlight the pertinent societal issues women were still facing as the residents would become women soon.

Ms Nora shared with the residents this year’s theme selected by the United Nations – ‘Orange the world: End Violence Against Women Now!’. Most of the residents suggested the colour orange is related to ‘brightness’, like the sun. True enough, the colour orange was intended to represent a brighter future free of violence against women and girls.

From the presentation slides, the residents learnt the different types of violence against women other than the commonly known physical violence, there were also the subtle emotional and mental violence or abuse that might take place in relationships. As the current  residents in PSGC are in their pre-teens and showing interest in relationships, Ms Nora felt the need to help them understand and detect red flags on subtle violence or abuse that may be easily overlooked as they are not visible like in physical violence. Thus, there were two activities crafted for the residents.

For the first activity, Ms Nora showed two videos to the residents, portraying subtle violence in a relationship which might be easily overlooked as ‘normal’. The residents were asked to write down the red flags they detect in the relationship on an orange piece of paper. The first video is a cartoon and musical video of how a teenage female is easily swooned by a masochistic male who initially wooed her by going out of the way to make her happy. As the relationship progressed, he started to control more on what she could or could not do, and often blaming her for the things she did not do and thus, causing her to feel trapped and confused. After the video, some of the residents shared that some of their friends got into such relationships and they themselves thought it was normal although they did not think it was right.

The second video gave the residents an insight of an adult relationship in which the man in the relationship often ‘gaslights’ his partner throughout the relationship, causing her to feel confused, lost and often apologising for things she did not do wrong. Ms Nora checked in with the girls before the start of the video if they knew what gaslighting’ means, and most of them knew that it was a form of psychological manipulation. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation attempting to confuse the victim and causing the victim to doubt his or her own reality. After the videos, the residents shared the red flags they had detected and what they thought about it.

For the second activity, PSGC’s Emotional Regulation Drill topic on “MI-Phone” was incorporated into the exercise so that the residents could practise empathy towards other women who might be in an abusive relationship. A scenario as shown below was given and the residents’ messages to the woman given in the scenario could be seen below. After sharing what they had written, the residents also shared some of the real-life examples they experienced witnessing their online friends online who publicly shared their toxic relationship and how they felt about it. Lastly, residents shared with Ms Nora who were their trusted safe person or adult they could talk to if they were in an abusive relationship themselves.

All in all, today’s topic on the fight for the elimination of violence against women is an opportunity to encourage the PSGC residents to not only look out for themselves, but also to look out for one another. They were reminded that women should stand together and support one another to eliminate the societal issues they have been facing for centuries. Thus, awareness of such issues is the starting point to learn to reach out for help.

Written by: Ms Nur Syafeeqah Bte Mohd Fauzi

Social Service Assistant

Ahuva Good Shepherd – Pilot Small Group Care

Marymount Centre, Singapore

The links for the videos are:

https://youtu.be/SVCqTcb4qkM on Gaslighting

https://youtu.be/1L6HB97ibrQ (Sunshine – Don’t confuse love & abuse)